Emotional Intelligence Leadership Competencies Part 2: Self-Management

Leaders know when to display emotions and when to delay emotions. 

My father in law, Chuck was a man’s man. I considered him a combination of Clint Eastwood and John Wayne. When I was first married to Julie, we went fishing early one morning. We were one of the first ones to the boat launch site and right when we were ready to officially launch, a guy in a small pick-up truck with a boat attached to the trailer cut in front of us, taking the boat ramp.

I had never seen Chuck get angry but let’s just say he displayed some raw emotion that morning. The emotion he displayed was intense and therefore quickly adjusted that mans choice to cut us.  95% of the time, you couldn’t find a better gentleman than Chuck, he was one of a kind.

Emotional self-management is not anger management and doesn’t mean you can’t ever appropriately show emotion. It’s important to learn the power of self-management: self control, transparency, adaptability, achievement, initiative, and optimism.

Self Control: Leaders with emotional control find ways to manage their disrupting emotions and impulses, and even channel them in useful ways. a centered leader stays calm under pressure and clear minded under high stress.

Transparency: Leaders who are transparent live and lead with their values – there is no disconnect or gap. These are leaders who display openness to others and respect the feelings, beliefs, and differences in others. They admit mistakes in themselves. They also do not turn a blind eye to low standards or unethical behavior.

Adaptability: Centered leaders are flexible and embrace change. They can adapt to changing demands without losing their focus or energy. They can rebound from loss and adjust their thinking in order to remain fluid in the face of new data and realities.

Achievement: Leaders who display high standard that drive them forward to achieve stretch goals and performance improvements.

Initiative: Leaders who are self-motivated and have the grit to take control of their own destiny have initiative. They seize and create opportunities, barely hesitating and doing whatever needed to cut through the “red tape” to get things done.

Optimism: Centered leaders can see opportunities in the face of challenges. They see others positively, expecting the best in them. They are a “glass half-full” person. Their outlook leads them to expect that changes in the future will be for the better.

Assess how you would rate yourself using a scale of 1 to 5:
(one being low, five being high)

  • Self Control:
  • Transparency:
  • Adaptability:
  • Achievement:
  • Initiative:
Select one area to improve on over the next 30-days. Remember, emotional intelligence can be developed in order to increase your influence, impact, and inspiration as a leader.

Next week, we will discover the importance of social awareness as part 3 of this series.

Here’s to your self-management!


As a master storyteller, Steve has unparalleled ability to communicate dynamic business and leadership truths through stories, anecdotes and humor. Harness the power of the “number one” predictor of professional success, impact, leadership, high performance and sustainable relationships in business and life. Steve’s highest rated keynote presentation.

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About the Author

Steve Gutzler is the President of Leadership Quest, a Seattle-based leadership development company. Steve is a dynamic, highly-sought-after speaker who has delivered more than 2,500 presentations to a list of clients including Microsoft, Starbucks, the Seattle Seahawks, Pandora Radio, Boeing, Cisco, Starwood Corporation, the Ritz Carlton group, and the U.S. Social Security Administration. He recently was voted #1 by the readership of Huffington Post as the Most Inspirational Leader on Social Media.

A published author on leadership and emotional intelligence, Steve resides near Seattle with his wife Julie where they enjoy time with their three adult children and six grandchildren.