The Unexpected Key to Deeper Leadership:
Positive Emotional Experiences
You know, I’ll never forget it.
There I was, heading to a Seattle Seahawks game with a close client—a friend, really—and he sends a stretch limo to pick me up. Now, I’m not one for flashy. But that day? I felt special. Appreciated. Seen.
He didn’t stop there. He lined up 50-yard line tickets for me and two other guests. We cheered, laughed, and celebrated a hometown win. It wasn’t just a game. It was a memory etched in joy.
Why am I telling you this?
Because in my keynotes, I often say: “No one remembers the ordinary.”
That doesn’t mean every moment needs to be grand. But when was the last time you created something a little extraordinary for someone you lead or serve?
That’s where the most powerful law in leadership lives: The Law of Reciprocity.
It’s not manipulation. It’s a mindset. A lifestyle. It’s about creating positive emotional experiences—giving others goodness, joy, and memories that stick.
Just last week, Julie and I returned from Turtle Bay’s Ritz-Carlton in Oahu. I was honored to speak for an incredible group of leaders at NECA. And the organizer, Kelly Lamp? He nailed it. He built what I call the 3Es:
- A memorable environment
- Meaningful experiences
- And real equipping for leaders
It doesn’t have to be limos or Hawaii.
But it does have to be intentional.
Here are small but powerful ways to deliver positive emotional experiences in your life and leadership:
Listen with your whole heart. Put the phone down. Make eye contact. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk—hear them.
Remember the details. Follow up on something they mentioned in passing last week. “How did your daughter’s recital go?” “Did you try that coffee place you were excited about?” It signals: I see you.
Handwrite a note. In a world of digital noise, ink on paper feels like a hug. Three sentences are enough. Be specific. “I was so impressed by how you handled that meeting Tuesday. Your calm made all the difference.”
Give the gift of time. No strings attached. “I’ve set aside 30 minutes just for you—how can I help?” Or simply, “Let’s take a walk.”
Celebrate their small wins publicly. A shout-out in a team meeting or a genuine comment on their LinkedIn post. “Sarah’s presentation today was a masterclass in clarity. Let’s all learn from that.”
Offer a meaningful introduction. Connect them with someone who can inspire, mentor, or collaborate. Say why you’re connecting them. “You two share the same incredible curiosity about AI—I knew you had to meet.”
Give them your full endorsement. “I trust your judgment completely on this.” “You have my full support.” Permission and trust are rare gifts.
Bring them something just because. Not for a birthday or holiday. A book you thought they’d love. Their favorite snack. A playlist. It whispers, You were on my mind.
Protect their focus. If you’re their leader, guard their time. “I know you’re in deep work this afternoon—I’ll handle that interruption.”
Ask for their opinion—and really weigh it. “What’s your take on this?” Then pause, consider, and thank them. It says their perspective matters.
Say their name. Not “hey,” not “team,” but their name. Warmly. With presence.
Hold space for their hard moment. Don’t rush to fix it. Just be there. “That sounds incredibly tough. I’m here with you.”
Pass on a piece of praise you overheard. “I was talking with a client today, and they couldn’t stop praising your responsiveness. I wanted you to hear that.”
Give them a sincere, unexpected compliment. Not about their work—about them. “You have a remarkable way of making people feel at ease.” “Your optimism is contagious.”
Keep your promises. Nothing makes someone feel more unspecial than being forgotten. Do what you said you’d do, when you said you’d do it.
Remember:
It’s not about scale. It’s about sincerity.
The smallest act, when it’s intentional and personal, can make someone feel truly seen. And in leadership—in life—that changes everything. Positive emotional experiences build deeper relationships. And those relationships activate the Law of Reciprocity. Giving starts the receiving—not in a transactional way, but in a human way.
Go make someone feel special today. It might just be the highlight of their week.
So here’s my challenge to you:
This week, choose three people—a friend, a client, a colleague—and create a genuine moment of care for them. Something that says, “You matter.”
I think you’ll be surprised.
It’ll change their day. Maybe their life. And it’ll absolutely warm your heart.
Because in leadership and in life—no one remembers the ordinary.
But they never forget the extraordinary.
Stay intentional,
Steve
As a master storyteller, Steve has unparalleled ability to communicate dynamic business and leadership truths through stories, anecdotes and humor. Harness the power of the “number one” predictor of professional success, impact, leadership, high performance and sustainable relationships in business and life. Steve’s highest rated keynote presentation.
To book Steve today, contact Michelle Joyce!
(For information on keynote presentations, team workshops, and one on one coaching.)
“The purpose of Leadership Quest is to help professionals develop their personal leadership, vision and emotional intelligence. Everyday I strive to help leaders and teams achieve their desired goals in sales productivity, leadership, time maximization, and life-balance. ”
About the Author
Steve Gutzler is the President of Leadership Quest, a premier leadership development company based in Scottsdale. As a dynamic and highly sought-after speaker, Steve has delivered over 2,500 impactful presentations to renowned organizations such as Microsoft, Starbucks, the Seattle Seahawks, Spotify, Boeing, Cisco, Starwood Hotels, Ritz-Carlton, and the U.S. Department of Commerce.
A published author and thought leader on leadership and emotional intelligence, Steve lives near Scottsdale with his wife, Julie. Together, they cherish time spent with their three adult children and six grandchildren.
